Everybody goes Dutch in Shanghai; even at a grand party, but in Beijing it's the men's obligation to pay the bill. One can expect to hear "Gentlemen, bill please!" in restaurants very often. Then Beijing women at the table will sit there at ease, while Shanghai women at the table will sit there with their purses in their hands, wondering whether they should accept the treat.

It's difficult to ask a Beijing girl out at night, as the city is too big and the shops close too early. The nightlife in this city is much too limited. It is impossible to invite a female friend who already has a boyfriend or a young married woman out, even if you promise to see her home that night. This is because Beijing women are more conscious of established Chinese conventions.

The conditions of the men in Beijing are no better at all. All their cells will ring one after another at 12 O' clock sharp at night. The voice on the other end is usually loud enough for anyone within ten meters to hear clearly. "Where have you been! Do you remember that you've got a home? Now who's with you?" and these three sentences are usually the main parts of the call.

Shanghai women could never understand this. If it's a Shanghai woman who shouts in the phone, the Shanghai man on the other end must think that she is crazy (or drunk, perhaps). The Shanghainese go Dutch in life, and they appreciate the independence in both economic and love affairs. Even two lovers won't interfere with the other's private life.

While Shanghai women laugh at the tameness and dependency of Beijing women, the latter will think that all the Shanghai women are out of their minds, too.

Many of my friend girls in Shanghai are office ladies with very high income. Their fundamental rule of love is independence in both economic and love affairs. They never do any housework themselves, though all of them have bought more than one house. The tiredness of life cannot kill their pride in saying: "I don't depend on any men." Thus no men can command them, for example, to force them to come back home before 10 pm. Beijingers do not admire the Shanghai way of life, anyhow. They could not even understand it. In their minds, a couple must know each other thoroughly, though some personal space should be left. How can a couple be addressed as "a couple" when they don't know where the other has been last night?